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Trigger Warning: Suicidal ideation/self harm & general talk about mental health disorders.

Where did it begin?

It is May 2024 when I write this, but the ideas and thoughts behind this blog/website began a couple of years ago. This post will really be a quick, brief insight into why this blog exists.

I am quite a private person, and it is hard for me to be open. Especially when it comes to what I am feeling and thinking. So this blog and the idea behind it, are quite uncomfortable for me. As I hope to share in more detail in different posts in the future, I have always struggled with my mental health. I was 12 years old when I remember having my first suicidal thoughts/ideation; I was 14 when I started self harming. At times over my life since then I have gone through episodes of depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed by mental health professionals, with Depression, Anxiety and ADHD.

For a LOT of the years of my life, it felt (feels) like I was battling with various thoughts and feelings, that were just 'a part of me'. If I would try to describe it, it was like I was walking around in the dark without a flashlight. I would wake up depressed, but not even knowing it was depression. I would find it hard to focus, or to get things done, not knowing I had ADHD. I would be anxious in certain situations, without knowing that it was anxiety. Depression can be paralysing, crippling, overwhelming, appearing without warning. I have gone through some incredibly painful moments of hopelessness at different times in my life.

A journey to hope

For the past few years I have been on a journey of therapy, treatment and diagnosis. It has been and still is a painful and vulnerable journey. I am so incredibly thankful for the people who have walked that journey with me, especially my close friends, and my therapist. It is difficult to describe just how differently I feel nowadays, I have a long way to go, but I understand me, and my thoughts, feelings and desires so much more. I know so much better what to do when I feel depressed, anxious or am overthinking. In fact, depression and anxiety hit me so much less frequently than they used to. I am still on that journey, and I know that in different ways this will be a lifelong process of learning and healing, but the peace, understanding and hope I feel now day to day is a gift I hold so tightly.

A growing burden

So, as I have started to learn more about what I am facing day to day, and to learn coping mechanisms, receive treatment, grow and heal. A desire has grown in me, in fact I think I would call it a burden. A deep longing. I care so deeply about other people's mental health, having battled with my own for so long and yearning for peace in my thoughts. It is my desire to be open in the hope that maybe, hopefully, anything that I have learned along this path might be an encouragement for others in their own journey towards well-being. That is why this blog exists, for me to share, painful as it will be, about the things I have gone through hoping that it might help someone else as they read it.

I am still on that journey, and I know that in different ways this will be a lifelong process of learning and healing, but the peace and hope I feel now is a gift I hold so tightly

There are some other ideas and visions that I am working on and that I believe God has placed on my heart, related to this that I will be sharing more about in the future too. I am also now as of May 2024 officially a student studying mental health so I can learn more. But for now, I wanted to try and put into words why this blog is here.

There IS hope

If you are reading this and you are on your own journey with your mental health, if you are struggling in anyway. I want to encourage you that there is hope, and that hope can come in various ways depending on what you need; it might be through professional help, medication, treatment/therapy, coping mechanisms, books, or talking with friends. And for me a huge one has been my faith in God and the hope it has given me at various times in this battle. If I have learned one thing about my faith in this walk, is that God cares deeply about our mental health.

If you are reading this and you are on your own journey with your mental health, if you are struggling in anyway. I want to encourage you that there is hope

I know throughout my life there have been many moments where I haven't felt that hope, where things just felt dark and with no end. But, one thing I have learned through all this, is that there really is always hope. Each depressive episode, every time I feel anxious...whatever it is that is sometimes my present, has always at some point become part of my past.

So I will be posting on here, not on any schedule, but when I feel I have something to share. I will be sharing about my story and my mental health, about my love of coffee, reviews of books, life hacks and anything else I find interesting. You can read more about the name Java Journeys and why I love coffee so much on the About page here.

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Help is available: If you read this article and are experiencing a mental health crisis or struggling with how you are feeling, please know that help is available. Especially if you or someone you know is in danger, please visit our Urgent Mental Health Contacts page, which provides a list of crisis helplines and resources available in various countries that can provide urgent assistance. Your mental health, safety & wellbeing matters, and there are people ready to help you through this difficult time.

** The content provided in this post is for informational purposes only and is based on personal opinions and experiences. I am not a licensed mental health professional, and this information should not be considered as professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of a qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding your mental health. If you are in crisis or need immediate assistance, please contact a mental health professional or emergency services.